Rebel by Banks R.R

Author:Banks, R.R. [Banks, R.R.]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Published: 2018-03-16T16:00:00+00:00

Chapter Fifteen

I'm standing at the two small, simple headstones that bear the names of my parents. Obviously, they hadn't been able to afford anything nice – not the polished marble or smooth granite headstones that filled the cemetery. No, my parents were off in a corner of the graveyard, their headstones small and unremarkable.

It was rather fitting for how they lived their lives, actually.

I squatted down before the two headstones and looked at the names and the dates of their deaths that had been carved into the rough, coarse stone. I hadn't been here when they died – I'd gotten word while over in Afghanistan, of course. I was offered bereavement leave to come back for the funerals, but had declined. What was the point? It wasn't like I had any special affection for either of them.

My father had been a drunk – a vicious drunk at that. He'd often used me and my mom as a punching bag whenever he felt wronged by life. And he felt wronged a lot. My mom hadn't been as vicious as he was. At least, not physically. My mother's particular skill was using her words – and she could use them in a way that made me wish for a physical beating from my father instead.

Cuts and bruises healed – the impact of my mother's words had a longer lasting effect.

I looked around at the other graves and noticed that most of them had flowers or some small token from a loved one. There were obvious signs that the people who resided in those graves were missed. When I looked down at the plain plots that housed the remains of my parents, I saw that there was not one flower and not one token placed upon them. They quite obviously, were not missed. By anybody.

“To tell you the truth,” I say to the two graves, “I don't even know why I'm here. It's not like we ever got along. And it's not like we ever had a family bond or anything.”

Honestly, I really have no idea why I'm here. Maybe, it's to confirm the fact that they really are dead. Maybe, this is some way to provide me with some sense of closure in my life. Back in the Corps, I'd met with a shrink a few times. He'd told me that I would never truly be able to move forward in my life if I hung on to these things from the past – these things that caused me pain. Namely, the relationship with my parents.

It was his belief that I needed to confront my past, make some effort to come to terms with it, and then let it go. He said that I needed closure on that chapter of my life. Only then, would I be able to move on from it and move forward unhindered.

Yeah, my relationship with the shrink didn't last very long.

I preferred life in the military. It was simple. Orderly. I knew what was expected of me. I could just go out and do my job.

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